Philadelphia, PA

Looks like that billboard ought to have said “I will not be racist!” Dan Gross reports 94.1 WYSP’s Kidd Chris has been fired due to a guest’s racist parody song; it was so racist it took the station ’til now to fire him for a broadcast in March. (Gross has a rough transcription of the lyrics.)

The song, a parody of Blondie’s “Call Me,” was titled “Schwoogies” — a Yiddish word meaning “shadows,” used as racist slang for black people about 800 years ago. The artist who did it is Lady Gash, who this blog describes as “THE Premier female song parody artist in all of radio and is one of the best in radio male or female, bar none.” She also apparently did the “Schwoogies” song with Suge Knight.

Also, look, here’s a response to another question on that blog about a song parody contest or something:

My entry is no SCHWOOGIEs since another racist song would not fit the rules of the contest and since there are no darkies on the staff. Who am i going to go after next… the Jews?

Pfft, yeah, no more racist songs, Lady Gash. Anyway, Kidd Chris was supposed to have his birthday party at freaking Whiskey Tango in the Far, Far Northeast, which is pretty much the funniest part of this whole story.

If you have any Philadelphia News, Events, etc. please email them to phillytips@kyledylanconner.com.

Survelliance cameras on the Norwegian Dawn cruise ship show a Camden County woman was alone on her balcony when she fell overboard Sunday, the cruise line stated last night.

The Norwegian Cruise Line said in a statement that hallway cameras and cameras on the sides of the ship “confirmed that Mindy Jordan was in her stateroom alone at the time of the incident.”

The family of Ms. Jordan, 46 years old, of Pine Hill, said Tuesday that it suspected foul play. The family could not be reached last night after the cruise ship’s statement was released.

The company did not characterize the incident, and noted that investigations are continuing.

The cruise line said it was arranging for Ms. Jordan’s family to join the ship in Bermuda today to view the footage.

If FBI agents from New York City office and local authorities in Bermuda conducted interviews on the ship yesterday.

If FBI agents determine that Ms. Jordan’s fall was accidental, that information will be relayed to family members but not made public, Special Agent Jim Margolin stated.

The cruise line released a timeline of events, beginning with Ms. Jordan; her boyfriend, Mr. Jorge Caputo; and a couple they were traveling with eating dinner in the ship’s Garden Cafe.

The couples returned to their adjacent staterooms about 7:28 p.m., the cruise line stated.

Eight minutes later, Mr. Caputo left his room and joined his friends next door. “From that moment on, Mindy was alone in her stateroom,” the cruise line said.

At 7:53 p.m., the cameras had shown Ms. Jordan falling from her balcony, “straight into the water.”

The cruise line previously said Ms. Jordan, who was staying on deck nine, had been trying to climb to an adjoining balcony when she fell.

Shortly after Ms. Jordan’s fall, an emergency call was made from the friends’ stateroom, and Mr. Caputo is seen leaving that room “to seek help,” the cruise line said.

Four minutes later, a man-overboard announcement was made, and the ship’s crew launched two rescue boats.

Ms. Jordan went overboard about 45 miles off Atlantic City, about four hours after the ship had left New York en route to Bermuda.

The Coast Guard joined the search, which was called off on Monday. Ms. Jordan’s body has not been found.

The cruise ship arrived in Bermuda yesterday. The ship is due back in New York on Sunday morning.

Ms. Jordan’s family members said that week that they doubted the cruise line’s initial account, and they described Ms. Jordan’s relationship with Mr. Caputo as volatile.

The two lived together for more than two years, said Ms. Jordan’s brother, Steve Lynn. He said Ms. Jordan had moved out several months ago, but that the two had apparently reconciled.

Barbara Matthews, the couple’s neighbor, described Ms. Jordan and Mr. Caputo in complimentary terms and said she had been seen no evidence of trouble in their relationship. She said Mr. Caputo, who works for a car dealership, had moved next door to her about three years ago with his daughter, Megan, who was 20 years old. Ms. Jordan moved in about a year later.

“What I know about him, it’s impossible for me to think there was anything sinister going on,” she said.

Ms. Matthews said she last saw the couple Sunday morning before they left for the cruise.

They were meeting their traveling companions in the parking lot, and Mr. Caputo joked with Ms. Matthews about watching the house to make sure his daughter didn’t have any parties while he was gone.

She said Mr. Caputo recently had recovered from back surgery and “was really looking forward” to the trip.

Ms. Jordan, a licensed practical nurse, had a 15-year-old daughter and an 18-year-old son.

Her mother, Lousise Horton of Bordentown City, said she had spoken to Ms. Jordan twice on Mother’s Day before the ship left port. Mr. Caputo called the next morning to say Ms. Jordan had died.

“The pieces just don’t add together,” Ms. Horton said on Tuesday.

If you have any Philadelphia News, Events, etc. please email them to phillytips@kyledylanconner.com.

Okay, umm, yah. This has been on Philly.com front all day. And, umm, yah: As usual, anytime somebody tries to tell you how Philadelphia is a big city, you can just show them this. Something like that.

If you have any Philadelphia News, Events, etc. please email them to phillytips@kyledylanconner.com.

Yes, Center City was abuzz today with tons of activity. At Broad and Walnut, you have Marley & Me filming at one corner and, uhh, a McDonald’s-sponsored “Chicken Dance Down South” at the other corner. Apparently, McDonald’s thinks you’re going to stop what you’re doing and dance with corporate tools and, umm, some Mummers, of course. Or maybe this is the part of Marley & Me where the dog mauls Ronald McDonald to death.

Calling them the “poster children for identity theft,” U.S. Attorney Patrick L. Meehan said yesterday that he would seek five-year terms for a young Center City couple who used the good names and credit of others to finance a yearlong, $199,000 spending spree.

“No one was immune from the greed of Jocelyn S. Kirsch and Edward K. Anderton,” Meehand states. Their victims were strangers as well as coworkers, neighbors, and friends. The list also included another couple from whom the pair took information, first when they were guests and later when they burgled their hosts’ home.

In releasing criminal information - an indication that a plea bargain is in the works on federal charges of mail fraud, money laundering, and aggravated identity theft - authorities outlines an elaborate scheme involving at least 16 victims.

The criminal complaint said the couple’s action ranged from simply stealing purses at a Center City bar to establishing multiple accounts under different names and wearing disguises to withdraw money from some of those bank accounts.

In a move Meehan called “diabolical,” the two would buy time to make illegal credit card purchases by calling the victims of purse-snatchings and telling them that the bag had been taken accidentally or had been found by police and would be returned.

Besides purchasing goods, the two allegedly used their ill-gotten gains to take trips to Paris, Hawaii, Florida, Montreal, and the Caribbean between November 2006 and last December.

“But their year of living dangerously has caught up to them now,” Meehan stated.

Anderton, 25 years old, and Kirsch 22 years old, tried to scam an additional $112,000 in goods and cash but failed, officials said.

Earlier, in a brief court hearing at the Criminal Justice Center, state charges in the case were droped to clear the way for the federal prosecution of the two, who were dubbed “Bonnie and Clyde” by police after their arrests in December.

One sign that a plea bargain may be near is that the charges were contained not in an indictment but in a criminal information.

Both defendants now live on the West Coast but are expected back in the coming weeks for an as-yet-unscheduled court appearance.

Anderton, a University of Pennsylvania graduate, worked for Lubert Adler Partners, a real estate firm headquartered in Philadelphia, until he was last fired in September, Kirsch was suspended from Drexel University, where she was in her senior year, after her arrest.

The couple lived in a Center City apartment building owned by Anderton’s former employer and which was home to some of the alleged victims.

Based on the criminal information, here is a basic outline of elements of the alleged scams.

What was stolen: Credit cards, utility bills, financial statements, checks, identity information and keys.

How information was obtained: Purse snatching, burglarizing apartments and mailboxes with stolen keys, breaking into gym lockers, soliciting information over the telephone by false pretenses, picking up documents while visiting.

How it was used: Some credit cards were used immediately to make purchases. Other credit cards and information were used to obtain additional credit cards in the names of the victims, establish accounts with banks, eBay or PayPal, an electronic transaction network, and to open United Parcel Service mailboxes.

How the accounts were used: The additional credit cards were used for cash or the purchase of goods that were either kept or resold over eBay. The two also allegedly offered goods under the stolen names over eBay but never delivered. Money was transferred from account to cover tracks.

Meehan said the scheme collapsed under what he called “the greed of the hair extensions.”

In that case, Kirsch purchased $2,250 in hair extensions at a Center City salon using a credit card obtained in the name of a neighbor for a $500 deposit. She also paid the balance and a $250 tip with checks in the name of another person identified only as a former student. The checks bounced.

Police contacted the two victims, and soon the pieces fell together.

“If they had worked half as hard at their careers as they did in these multiple schemes, they would have been remarkably successful,” Meehan said of Kirsch and Anderton.

NBC 10’s big 6:15 report yesterday was about a cougar roaming Chester County! There have been cougar sightings in Philadelphia pretty much since William Penn got here — though I don’t think anyone has actually ever but this one is certainly one of the best ones.

If you look at the photo, ummm, it’s a house cat. Not even a particularly large one. Am I right?

A while back, Charles Henry discovered the paw prints but a few days ago, he ran into the big cat who left them. “There’s no doubt in my mind that’s not a house cat,” Henry said. Henry said it’s a cougar roaming the fields behind his house. “That’s where it was sitting,” he said.
He has now videotaped the animal a bunch of times. A couple zookeepers at Wilmington’s Brandywine Zoo and a Pennsylvania Game Commission official do not think it’s a cougar. A retired New Castle County police officer and former cougar hunter [isn’t that a porn site?–ed.] said he does think it’s a cougar. […]

“Put out a cage and trap it. Put some raw meat in a cage and capture it. Put it where people can see it, and also where we don’t have to worry about it as a concern for neighbors and everyone around us,” Brady said.

Oh, I see: The guy just wants him all caged up, uhhh, so he can start a zoo, I guess.

Four women pled guilty earlier this week to stealing from the Macy’s at the Willow Grove Mall. (Uhh, ladies? Bloomingdale’s is so much nicer.) They’ve apparently been doing similar thefts all over the country and have criminal records in 10 states.

The judge called them a “plague of locusts” and gave them an extra punishment:

The judge also ordered them to stay out of all malls in Pennsylvania.

Geeze, that is quite a ban, but it raises some questions. What about outlet malls that aren’t enclosed? For that matter, what about places like the Roosevelt Mall, which are called malls but are just big outdoor shopping centers? Man, this is complicated; I do not envy the probation officer for these women.

It almost burns the eyes. And it’s only $24.99! What a steal!

Buy this whacky item here. (MLB Shop)

The Wilma Theater has announced the productions for its 30th Anniversary season, which will open with the Philadelphia premiere of Tom Stoppard’s Rock ‘n’ Roll, September 17-October 19. Blanka Zizka will direct this work, which spans the years 1968-1990 from the double perspective of Prague, Czechoslovakia, where a rock ‘n’ roll band comes to symbolize resistance to the Communist regime, and of Cambridge, England, where the verities of love and death are shaping the lives of three generations in the family of a Marxist philosopher.
Over the holiday season, the Wilma will produce the U.S. premiere of Schmucks (December 3-January 4), a comic fantasy by Roy Smiles that tells of a fictitious meeting between two comic icons, Groucho Marx and Lenny Bruce. Jiri Zizka will direct.

Following will be the Philadelphia premiere of Scorched (February 25-March 29) from the internationally acclaimed Lebanese-born playwright Wajdi Mouawad. The play, to be directed by Blanka Zizka, portrays characters searching for humanity while surrounded by the irrationality of war in the Middle East.

The season will close with the Philadelphia premiere of Terry Johnson’s Olivier Award Winner for Best New Comedy, Hysteria (May 13-June 14), based on an historical meeting between Sigmund Freud and Salvador Dalí. This production full of surrealist imagery will feature a set by Barrymore Award winner Mimi Lien. Jiri Zizka will direct.

For more information visit the Wilma Theater online at wilmatheater.org.

A now closed Horsham-based car-wash business and five managers were indicted today by a federal grand jury for allegedly operating a scheme to employ illegal aliens at four local car washes.

U.S. Attorney Patrick Meehan told reporters that the defendants gave the workers the names of former employees to use and paid them in the names of those employees. The illegal workers were permitted to cash their paychecks at a nearby bank without showing identification, according to the charges, as long as they wore T-shirts or sweatshirts bearing the name of the business, Car Care Inc.

The company had branches in Norristown, Flourtown, Bryn Mawr and Cherry Hill. Officials said they have since been sold.

Charged in the indictment was Car Care Inc., and five of its managers. Eric W. Sitarchuk, an attorney for Car Care, said the now-defunct company has agreed to pay a $100,000 fine and forfeit $500,000 from the sale of the car washes. Fifty-seven illegal aliens were arrested during the investigation, authorities said; 14 have been deported, and the others are still facing immigration proceedings.

Hola, guess who was in town today?, Dick Cheney was in town today! He was talking to people about how the economy isn’t all that bad, really. Look at the people Cheney talked to who have been helped by the economic stimulus!

Cheney delivered a 10-minute speech Thursday to about 100 workers at a Northeast Philadelphia facility that prints the economic stimulus checks.

My stimulus arrived via direct deposit, so I guess I didn’t do much for the economy.

While we’re on the subject of Dick, why don’t you sign Wexler’s petition for hearings to impeach Dick Cheney. Or you could just watch 9/11: Press For Truth.

Eric Floyd, the fugitive suspect in the slaying of police Sgt. Stephen Liczbinski, was captured yesterday. Good news.

Then things got surreal:

Afterward, the mayor told reporters said he got within two feet of Floyd. “I looked him dead in the eye when he came in, and I told him how disappointed I was in him,” Nutter said. There was no response from the suspect, the mayor added.

Oh, you showed him, Mr. Mayor! Two feet! Maybe someone can set up a trip for the mayor to death row where he can tell every killer how disappointed he is. “Don’t murder, guys! You might let the mayor down!”

It’s your move, Philly.com. Phillies.com has placed Indiana Jones into it’s schedule page. What’s best is it’s there with no explanation at all. Maybe the Phillies will wear Indiana Jones hats that day?

Now, I’m sure I’ll see the new Indiana Jones movie. I’m also sure that the movie is going to be heavily advertised. I fully expect ads for Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull to be broadcast directly into my brain by George Lucas. But do you really need to sponsor the Phillies schedule?

Something like Harold & Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay would be a much better choice to advertise the schedule. It needs to be something you forget you want to see.

I could be wrong, though. Maybe Harrison Ford is entering the starting rotation on May 22nd, 2008. Shape up, Kyle Kendrick!

Check out the Phillies schedule here.

The most eagerly awaited world premier of Tony Award winner Bill Irwin’s The Happiness Lecture finally opens this month at the Philadelphia Theatre Company. The Happiness Lecture will run May 16th thru June 15th, 2008. Conceived, directed and starring Bill Irwin, Lecture concerns a group of adventurers who embark on a journey in pursuit of happiness.

The Walnut Street Theatre concludes it’s 199th year with one of the 20th century’s biggest and best loved musicals Les Miserables, May 13th thru August 1st, 2008. Reportedly one of the first self-producing theatre’s chosen by Lez Miz producer Cameron Mackinstosh to create a new concept for the 1985 musical, director Mark Clements’ production stars Broadway vet Hugh Panaro as Jean Valjean and Walnut favorite Paul Schoeffler as Valjean’s dogged pursuer Inspector Javert.

While we’re on the topic of musicals, this May the Cadillace Broadway Series offers two award winning shows bound to satisfy any fan. Taking the stage May 2nd thru 4th, 2008 at the Academy of Music is the irreverent hit Hairspray, a high-energy tale about a full-bodied girl who becomes an overnight celebrity. May 9th thru 11th, the Academy hosts the legendary musical Gypsy. Set during the heyday of vaudeville and burlesque, Gypsy features a wondrous score from Julie Styne (music) and Stephen Sondheim (lyrics) including the classics “Everything’s Come up Roses” and “Some People.”

Fans of experimental theatre will applaud the long-awaited Philadelphia premier of New Paradise Laboratories’ 2004 work Prom, May 1st thru 11th, makes it’s local debut at Drexel University’s Mandell Theatre. The first installment in NPL’s “American Ethnographies” trilogy, Prom employs dance and athletics to recall this memorable teenage rite of passage.

The Bristol Riverside Theatre concludes it’s season with a revival of Jerry Herman’s 1969 musical Dear World, Now thru May 18th, 2008. A musical fable about the dangers of greed, World is a rarely-seen gem from the composer of Mame and Hello Dolly.

The Wilma Theater - who scored a hit in 2005 with Sarah Ruhl’s The Clean House - now stages the playwright’s highly-acclaimed Eurydice, Now thru June 1st, 2008, directed by Blanka Zizka. An original retelling of the myth of Orpheus. The play is a magical exploration of the divide between life and death. Featuring an original score by composer Toby Twining, the Wilma’s surreal production promises to be one of the month’s most visually-dazzling offerings.

The Arden Theatre Company concludes it’s 20th anniversary season with an unconventional staging of Thornton Wilder’s masterpiece Our Town, May 22nd thru June 22nd, 2008. The first act of director Terrence J. Nolen’s production takes place at the Arden’s Haas Stage. During intermission the show moves next door to the historic Christ Church, which houses the second half of Wilder’s classic look at life in small town America.

Flashpoint Theatre Company takes on the reality TV craze with the company’s production of Eric Coble’s The Dead Guy, May 14th thru May 31st, 2008, which focuses on America’s seemingly boundless interest in the so-called reality of others.

Do you remember Jocelyn Kirsch? Yes, of course you do. You probably don’t remember Edward Anderton, the other dude in the Bonnie and Clyde of Identity Fraud case from last year.

One might think things are a little quiet on the Kirsch and Anderton front nowadays, but that didn’t stop British paper The Observer from doing a giant piece on ol’ B&C. By giant, I mean 4100 words! On Bonnie & Clyde!

Steeped in narcissism and privilege, fuelled by entitlement, theirs is truly an outlaw romance for the 21st century. The Philadelphia Daily News immediately dubbed the photogenic couple ‘Bonnie and Clyde’. It’s a name some people take exception to. ‘Bonnie and Clyde, that’s only because they’re young and good-looking,’ scoffs Detective Terry Sweeney of the Philadelphia police. ‘These two were complete idiots. If this was two fat fucks from South Philly, it would have been Turner and Hooch.’

Yeah, too bad the phrase was originally coined by a police source. Uh oh.

The article is full of unintentionally hilarious sentences. The first one here is the best:

- 22-year-old Jocelyn was a final-year student at nearby Drexel University, a big step down from Penn.
- Each year, Jocelyn also reinvented herself, swapping old friends for new ones, transforming from goth girl to Abercrombie prep to frisky cheerleader wannabe.
- While Jocelyn was fast becoming Drexel’s answer to Paris Hilton, a few blocks away at the University of Pennsylvania, Edward Kyle Anderton was winding down his college career in obscurity.
- He hadn’t always been so anonymous. He grew up in Everett, Washington, where he was a straight-A striver and a standout swimmer whom the Seattle Times once named ‘Star of the Month’.
- But at Penn, Ed was just one bright undergraduate among 10,000. Intimidated, he tried to assume the confident air of his Ivy League peers, but if he made any sort of impression, it was for the way he feigned good humour to mask something else. ‘His niceness didn’t seem that genuine,’ says a former classmate. ‘When you talked to him, there was a disconnect. He was a bit fake.’
- At a gathering of family and friends, Jocelyn refused to play their board games, choosing to sit at Ed’s elbow, sipping wine while everyone else drank soda, her blouse undone a few buttons too many, her face arranged in a careful, lipsticked smile.
- ‘Hi, my name is Jocelyn Kirsch,’ she introduced herself, as the crowd and Britain’s heir to the throne looked on. ‘I’m originally from Vilnius, Lithuania.’ She went on to speak eloquently about the way globalisation is stratifying societies around the world.

Okay, that’s enough. The whole thing is just a differently-detailed version of the Rolling Stone article about the pair. Gah, it’s 5:12 a.m., and I haven’t slept yet.